Thank you, Lisa, for posting these!

Everything that I can completely relate to is marked in red. I restrained myself mightily with the font color tool. : ) Let me know which ones you can relate to the most!

 

Inside every older person is a younger person — wondering what the hell happened.
-Cora Harvey Armstrong-

A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who never owned a car.
-Carrie Snow-

My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being, hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.
-Erma Bombeck-

A man’s got to do what a man’s got to do. A woman must do what he can’t.
-Rhonda Hansome-

Every time I close the door on reality, it comes in through the windows.
-Jennifer Unlimited-

Whatever women must do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.
-Charlotte Whitton-

Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart.
-Caryn Leschen-

I try to take one day at a time — but sometimes several days attack me at once.
-Jennifer Unlimited-

If you can’t be a good example — then you’ll just have to be a horrible warning.
-Catherine-

When I was young, I was put in a school for retarded kids for two years before they realized I actually had a hearing loss. And they called ME slow!
-Kathy Buckley-

I’m not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I’m not dumb — and I’m also not blonde.
-Dolly Parton-

If high heels were so wonderful, men would still be wearing them.
-Sue Grafton-

I’m not going to vacuum ’til Sears makes one you can ride on.
-Roseanne Barr-

When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country.
-Elayne Boosler-

Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.
-Maryon Pearson-

In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man. If you want anything done, ask a woman.
-Margaret Thatcher-

I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career.
-Gloria Steinem-

Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission.
-Eleanor Roosevelt-

Remember, Ginger Rogers did everything Fred Astaire did, but she did it backwards and in high heels.
-Faith Whittlesy-

In men, the mind is connected to the brain.
In women, the mind is connected to the heart.
-Amy Tan-

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